I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It's just like the Real World with babies
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
