listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
