And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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