You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
