Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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