I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So much Jack, so little girl.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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