Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
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I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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