OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
