And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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