before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We need to feng shui this bitch.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
