Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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