Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
