Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
