I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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