he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
