Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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