I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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