id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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