she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize