4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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