God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize