hotel room ftw
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
