Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
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Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
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I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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