woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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