That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
