Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
