Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
