I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
