I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
