TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
