My friends, they love my intelligence
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I supernannyed him into submission
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
