He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
