i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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