if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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