So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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