I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
