are you still at the devil's house?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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