You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
