So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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