I'm drive I can fine osifer
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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