Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize