I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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