That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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