i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
