we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
