I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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