Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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