is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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