that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
