And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
