nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
