Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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