I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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