hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
