Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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