no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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