You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
