I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize