So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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