first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
