Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
