how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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