After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
