Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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