My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
