i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
